This time of year we tend to get a little frenzied with buying. Everywhere you look there are “must-have deals” that find a way to actually make you feel you must have them. But do you? Or do the folks on your holiday list need them? Your friends and loved ones wouldn’t want those costly gifts if they knew it was causing you ANY financial stress. The best gifts you can give come from the heart, when it’s not suffering spending palpitations!
If you’re buying a gift you have to put on a 19.99% credit card, and you know you will only be able to pay the minimum payment come January (and the next 6 or more months that follow), think about what that gift is really going to cost you.
Gift-giving is full of “shoulds”. I should get a gift for a high school pal, even though I haven’t seen her since last Christmas. I should get a gift for that friend at work. If you can’t afford it but you’re buying a gift because you have convinced yourself you should, remember, the other person might not be able to afford to give you a gift either, even though they may then feel obligated as well. So “don’t should on yourself”…focus on the gifts you want to give, not the ones you think you should.
In addition to their monetary cost, each gift you give is a task. Do you want to be a task on someone else’s busy holiday to-do list? Would they want to be a task on yours? And even if you have all the time in the world, and you’re not financially strapped, think about all the better uses that time, money and effort could go towards. It’s not just financial stress we get from gift buying, it’s that frenzied search to figure out what to get, and how to top last year’s gift. Give someone the gift of not having to frantically search for a gift for you!
Make a pact with those shoulds on your list to try a gift-free get-together. Time together is more meaningful than time spent in holiday traffic and long shopping lines, or weeding through 100’s of reviews online. If you do decide to give a gift, give what you can (and truly want to), but don’t give more than you can afford, no matter how much you think you are supposed to. Do you have points on your credit card? Many cards offer gift cards (sometimes even discounted!) in exchange for points, and holidays are the perfect time to cash them in for the gift you know they will use, a gift certificate to their favorite store!
Take a look at why you think you should buy the gift as well. When we feel less-than, we tend to give more than we need to. You are good enough exactly as you are and buying gifts to impress someone just reinforces the idea that your worth is tied to what you have to financially offer, not who you are inside.
So take another look at your holiday list. You will likely find freedom in crossing off some of those names you’ve been struggling with. And there is nothing wrong with saying you’re striving for a gift-free holiday this year. Giving only what YOU want to give, not what you think you should give is a sign of strength.
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